A New Bond

M introduced herself and invited him to sit down. 
"Here's your new id, Nick." she handed him a wallet with id inside. 
He opened it up and looked at it. "Bond? James Bond," he read the name on the id, then he eyed the credit cards inside. 
"All double 0 sevens use that name. We change the picture of course. From now on you will operate as James Bond, 007." The new director sat in her chair and smiled, lifting her glass to her lips. 
"Wouldn't it be better to use a different name for each new agent?" he asked. 
"No, of course not, Mister Bond. The legends of your exploits are greatly intimidating to your opponents. They cant figure out why they cant kill you, you see." M smiled and took a sip from her wine glass. 
"I would just as soon they didn't." he said. 
"Relax, James. The last one who tried is dead." M put her glass down and turned on her laptop, brushing her long red hair out of her eyes. "And you graduated top of your class. Your instructors will see to it no one lays a hand on you. The double 0's are legend in their field. Oh, you have a meeting with Q in an hour. Don't be late." 
"Q? Who's that?" James looks at his new watch and checks the time... 
"New girl, very inventive, like her father before her... She has some gifts for you." M turns to her laptop and begins to read documents on it. "Don't be late." 
"Right, I'll just see myself out." James rises from his chair and exits to the outer office where a lovely secretary with long legs is typing a letter. "Oh hello. Bond. James Bond here." He introduces himself mostly to get in the practice. He nods and holds out his hand. 
The young girl at the computer keeps typing without looking up. "So you're the new 007. Shame. I rather liked the last one. Name's Moneypenny. Just started about a month ago. Nice to meet you. Don't be late for your meeting with Q." 
"They never told me what happened to the last 007. I don't suppose he retired..." James smiled slightly, hoping for a favourable answer. 
Miss Moneypenny looked sadly at her screen for a moment then sighed and went back to typing again. 
"Right, well. Mustn't be late for miss Q." James headed out the door. Preferring to not think about the future, or James Bond's past. He hoped that miss Q would be more of a talker some how, but he doubted it....

romeo and juliet; a space oddity. act one scene one. castle montague

act one
scene one. castle montague.

yo romeo i heard theres a dope party on fair planet verona over at capulet castle. lets crash.

surely you jest, paris. the jedi bade us to never return to capulet castle again, cousin.

i jest not cousin and dont call me shirley.

i just realized that paris is a girls name cousin.

yeah so, pop always wanted a daughter, dog. lets go to the party. i hear verona has some fine bitches yo. 

verily well, cousin paris. let us make haste less the sun set afore our arrival. 

what you talkin bout romeo. you talk funny dog....

Return to Sunnydale

Nothing was left but a huge crater. A canyon they called Sunnydale Canyon. The

township of Sunnydale was gone.

Thirteen days passed and then the trucks
came. And the workers. A foundation was laid at the bottom of the
canyon.

Thirteen months passed and the new facility was almost done. The new
lab was creating hundreds of jobs even before it opened.     

Police were
concerned about the alarming reports of bat, wolf, and Racoon attacks. And
workers were plagued by flies and mosquitoes.  

The Raccoons were going through
the garbage every night and soon the workers were calling the plant Raccoon city.
The name stuck.
There were record high accident rates and mysterious
disappearances. Some workers were torn apart at night by wolves.

The first
buildings in the city were designed to be underground to conserve energy and
protect the people from bad weather.

Once the underground city was complete
the canyon was filled with dirt to keep the city cooler.

The umbrella
corporation was one of the most successful companies in the industry. They drew
many people to Raccoon city.
Now any city with a lot of people is going to
have some demons and vampires among other things.

I met Mic and Gabe in
a club in Santa Monica called The Asylum. Seemed an appropriate name as it was
full of vampires.
The elder vamps wanted to explore the ruins of Sunnydale
and take what treasure was left behind. Seeing as i had nothing planned for the
next hundred years or so i thought what the hell and went along.  

The new
city was growing fast above ground. People were moving in and starting new lives
unaware that the ghost town below them was a gateway to hell.

The only way
to get to the ruins now was via the new sewers. Place smelled like bloody hell
but the demons had dug out a tunnel to get to the surface.      

Michael had
compelled a demon to lead us to the city. The entrance was well hidden but the
demon knew where it was. Small chap name of L'Tiangle. I like to call 'im T. T
was a greedy lil prat so we had to watch 'im and our wallets closely.


T led us to the door but it was big and heavy and he couldnt move it.

Gabriel and Uriel helped Mic and me open the door and Gabe went in first.

The houses and shops had been pillaged by demons til there was almost
nothing left. Also the place was crawling with vamps during the day hiding from
the sunlight.

Sunny d had become the city of the undead i thought. And
about that time a vamp attacked T and tried to bleed him dry. Mic drew his sword
and beheaded the beast.
Mic and his friends weren't your average daemons.
They were elder demons and high up on the food chain; most demons knew better
than to mess with them. Stupid bugger, i thought as i passed by the vamp, who
was turning to dust.
Someone had rigged the cities lights to the new city
above and the street was lit up like bloody christmas.

As we passed the
Magic Box I heard a scream and a huge man eating bunny rabbit ran out of the
building as a fire ball hit it and burnt its fur. A vengeance demon came to the
door to throw another fireball but the bunny was gone around the corner. It was
Anyanka. "DAM BUNNIES" She said. " I hate rabbits"
Anya looked at me and
smiled. 

"Hi Spike" she hugged me. 
 "An youre alive." 
"Well, they gave me a choice.
Vengeance demon or the bunny cage. and I hate bunnies."
"And now i know why luv," I told her. I looked for the eight foot bunny but it was gone.
"O it will come back. They always come back. dam rabbit. What you doing here Spike?"

"Looking for buried treasure" I told her.
"Oh, you're a pirate now." 
T looked in the door of the magic shop.
"What are you doing?" An asked him
closing the door.
"That's T. He led us here."
"I see. Well pleased to
meet you mister. . . T" An smiled.
"God its been thirteen years now. How the bloody hell are you luv?"
"busy busy busy you know. Vengeance never
rests." she smiled and looked at the door. I come back here to use the safe
sometimes you know."         

"You in town for long luv?" I asked. 
"I have a lot of business in the middle east but I will be back soon." she smiled. 
"K well i will see you then"
An went inside and closed the door as we continued
towards the bank. A man screamed in agony from inside the shop.

It was good to see a familiar face again, but I almost felt sorry for the poor bugger
in the shop. What kind of agony was she putting him through I wondered?
A couple of blocks later we came to the richest building in town, the Sunnydale
Bank. It was not surprising that it was surrounded by goblins. They love
treasure you know.
A couple of them charged us, but Michael compelled them to
defend us and soon half the army was killing the other half for us. I hardly had
to lift my sword...

Once the fight was over, we left our bodyguards
outside and strolled inside the bank. Sitting on a golden throne in front of the
vault was none other than Mammon himself. Daemon of Greed and god of the greedy.
I chuckled to myself as I recalled encountering him before and dubbing him
Mammorys as his body fat count was terribly high and he had a large set of man
boobs on him.
" Get out," Mammon growled at us and sent his bodyguards
toward us. The large hulking Fyarl daemons came towards us and Mic cut the first
one up into little pieces.
"The leader of the Fyarl daemons ordered the
others to attack, but i asked him why he was defending Mammon and he looked at
me...
"You speak Fyarl?" he asked me in disbelief.
"Well yes" i told him.
"Uganda too, long story. Anyway, why are you protecting this lowlife scum?"

I pointed to Mammon.
"He promised us a portion of the loot, " the Fyarl
replied.
"Oh I see,.. well, if you help us, you will get an equal share each
AND live to tell about it, yeah?"
The Fyarl looked at each other and then
turned and charged Mammon, who promptly screamed and vanished in a puff of
smoke...
Then the Fyarl turned and looked at us. Mic looked in the leaders
eyes for a moment then told him to kill the others.  

"Hey, not cool," I told
him.
"What you want to share the booty with all of them?" Michael asked.

At the moment all i could think about was cutting off his head, but i
decided to let it slide as the Fyarl would have probably killed us in our sleep
anyway...

We loaded up our bags with treasure and then Mic told the
Fyarl to stay and guard the rest until we got back. Then we left Sunnydale and
headed for home.
I peaked in the Magic Box on the way out, but all that was
there were some torture instruments covered in blood.
It would be good to see
my flat in Santa Monica again I thought... 

Whatever happened to Jessica Rabbit?

"You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do."

Jessica Rabbit was a shining star in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" And after numerous books and merchandising deals. The question crossed my mind. Whatever happened to Jessica Rabbit?

Jessica is still headlining in Toon Town, and still does the occasional spot in Roger's toons. But a lovely and talented star like Jessica should be huge by now.

Reporters asked her about her marriage to her "Hunny Bunny" Roger Rabbit, and she said, "I love him more than any woman's ever loved a rabbit."

When asked about rumors that she had played patty cake with some producers to get to the top, Jessica replied, "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way. You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do."

We asked Jessica about the car crash Roger had last week, and she told us, "My honey bunny was never very good behind the wheel."

"Better lover than a driver, huh?"

"You'd better believe it, buster," she said.

Those of you die hard fans can catch Jessica on the stage at Toon Town's infamous Supper Club on Tuesdays and Wednesday's and at the House of Mouse on Saturdays.

She's not bad, she's just drawn that way

Art by Ray Nichols.

www.raynichols.deviantart.com  

(c)2010